Diabetes Weekend!

I am writing this on the plane back from Denver! This trip was kind of a surprise! I hitched a ride with one of my moms coworkers who was moving out her with her husband who is in seminary and there precious little boy! It was just her and the her son since her husband is in school already. My mom and her planned it on Monday and we left on Friday. I got into Denver around 11pm on Friday and spent the night with my friend Erin ad her mom Cheryl. I love them so much and they are so awesome! The next morning we got up and went ice fishing with Brian who is doing an Iornman in May which I will be attending and rooting him on! It is amazing to see his dedication to his training and diabetes it's something to envy! After ice fishing we went to his house and relaxed for the night. Zyler (who is another type 1 diabetic) and I spent the night at Brians house. That night was so much fun Brian's daughte Megan and I made a cake which we had some problems with but in the end turned out to be amazing! The next morning we all went to church and in the afternoon Zyler and I went over to John's house. It was awesome to see him and his wife again they are the nicest people on the planet I swear! Brian, his wife, and Zyler dropped me off at the airport. Brian's wife Pam was so kind she walked me to my gate which made me a lot less nervous. Which brings me to now where I sit on the plane thinking about how much fun I had this weekend. Any time I get around my "diabetic" friends it is always hard to leave! I miss them so much already! I learned a lot over this weekend.... 1. Absorb every minute of every day because time is ticking and who knows when you will get to see them again! 2. My blood sugars seem to be better when I am with my betic friends. I just think it likes to be around other none working pancreases! Maybe it wants to look better than the other none working pancreases....haha. 3.I have been blessed with parents that have allowed me to do and meet all these amazing people and experience all these awesome things! 4. I appreciate all the things God has blessed me with 5. I know some of the most amazing people in the world. As for now as the pilot just announced that we are about in Omaha I have to gou back to my "normal" live and wait till I can see my diabetic friends again! 

Diabetes in a few words....

Diabetes
Stress
Triumph
Care
Need
Love
Identity
Understanding
Scars
Deteriorating
Separation
Judgment
Watching
Questioning
Comfort
Waiting
Fun
Fighting
Carrying
Hurt
Friendship
Ever changing
Peace
Addition
Information
Excitement
Understanding
Relief
Sympathy
Strength
           I wrote these words down during school one day. The first thing that may come to your mind when you read these words may not be the same as mine. For example scars, even though I have scars from where my old sits and sensors have been I meant a different kind of scar. This is the emotional scar rather then the physical. I challenge all of you to write down or even share what words mean diabetes to you because when I did there were a lot more words it meant to me than I realized before.

A goal reached....

On our second night at the 14er mountain climb we were having our first night camping in the woods. For some reason I remember this night perfectly. That night was what made me fall in love with that trip. We were all sitting around a campfire talking about things related to diabetes. I had my arms crossed on my knees in front of me. I remember I was facing southeast hahaha I love directions, my face was resting on my arms and I was looking up at the moon. There was no clouds in the sky with the moon as full as it could be. The question was then asked why did you want to come on the trip.  It came time for me to answer and my response was " I want to be a role model to younger kids with diabetes and inspire them to reach goals just like people inspired me".The point to this...I just had my Youth Leadership Lincoln retreat...On the retreat we met people from all over the city, we talked to each other and really got to know the people that we would be spending the rest of the school year with. In one of the group discussions a question was a raised on if anyone in the group has impressed or inspired you? A girl that I had just met that morning raised her hand...she was sitting in a rocking chair in front of me and she turned around and said "Ashlee because she has done all these things and she is diabetic". This is a girl that I would look up to and for her to say that gave me chills. I thought back to the moment on the mountain climb. I felt like I had started to reach that goal. This past Tuesday we went to a local diabetic support group. There were these two little girls one of them was diabetic and the other was her sister. They were so excited to have me teach them about my pump and both girls fearlessly put in pump sights for the first time. Which when I first did that I was hidding under tables with fear. It was so cute to see, they gave me their valentines day crafts they made during the kids class and kept asking there mom when they could see me again. It made me realize that this is what I want to do. I want to hang out with these kids so that they can grow up and embrace diabetes and not think of it as something to hate. I want them to be healthy and happy and even inspire other kids. That is what I dream and that's what I'm going to work for.....

It's your life what you gonna do...the world is watching you...

So California...It was so much fun. The whole trip started with me going to school in the morning and leaving after two class periods to head to Omaha. The flight was a little late because of the weather so I ended up getting to San Diego around 5:30 instead of 5. Ashley picked me up at the airport and we went right to the Heros of the Marathon dinner. We met some amazing people there including Zyler who is also a hero of the marathon as well. He is an awesome kid. The next day we got up and went to the beach where everyone met for breakfast, talking, and surfing. Yeah I pretty much failed at the surfing bit but it was fun. My FAVORITE part of the day was seeing Katie. I hadn't seen her since the mountain climb which was 6 months ago. I literally flipped out when I saw her on the beach. She is awesome and the next day she ran a marathon which is amazing. After the beach we went to the expo to check in for the marathon. That's where I saw Erin she is so cool and we love getting together. After the Expo we went and got cleaned up and went to a dinner with insulindependence...that is where I got to see Eden for the first time also since the trip.  We got to take a picture together of everyone from the climb that was there at the race we were only missing a few people. The next morning we got up bright and early and headed of to the half marathon. I learned a lot from this race. One...God is always teaching me lessons. This time it was that he is in control and that not everything in your life is going to turn out the way you plan. For example this time I trained more for this run than my first and was expecting to PR. That didn't happen. I was 17 minutes slower. Somewhere around mile 4 1/2 after running at a good pace with Eden I stopped for water and felt my knee starting to cramp. At that moment I knew this race wasn't going to go the way I had planned but instead the way God had planned. The cramping got worse and spread down my leg. It was probably from a high blood sugar and not enough salt. But me and Eden kept going and actually at a point when we were walking we saw three dolphins. I then realized that if I had been so self consumed with trying to PR that I would have missed that moment and many others like it. It was awesome being able to run/ walk :) with Eden she is awesome and we had fun talking about life. We finished the race and I got to watch Ashley finish the half and Katie the full ....I could never imagine doing a full even though its a future goal of mine I have so much respect for Katie for doing it. She truly doesn't let her diabetes stop her. After the race we went to a bbq where I had to say bye to too many people. I would not see either Ashley or Erin again on this trip. I did however get to go drive around and look at some colleges with Michelle. This was probably a highlight of this trip as I laughed so much in just those few hours...she is also another important person in my life. She then dropped me of back at the bbq and I also had to say good bye too her too :( That night though was fun as I got to spend the night with Katie. I cherished that time with her and was soooooo sad when I had to leave her and the rest of the insulindependence crew the next morning. The truth about me is that I don't really cry ever but it seems like every time I'm with this group of people at some point I cry. I safely got home and navigated my way through the airports by myself. On the flight from denver to lincoln I sat looking out the window the whole flight. I thought about my life and I the amazing experiences I have been able to do. I thought about what I wanted to do and become when I got older and I thought about how hard it was going to be to go back to my normal life and wait until I could see those people that play such a big role in my life again. I feel that the age that I'm at and the circumstances under which I live my life have people watching me and the decisions I make everyday. But I challenge everyone including me to look at there lives and live it to the fullest and push yourselves to do things that at the moment seem so far fetched and to work at reaching them. Whether it is as simple as getting a certain grade in a class or reaching a fitness goal. Live your life like the world is watching you....Live with Fulfillment, Serve with Passion so in this Lifetime you will have the ability to Die with NO Regrets-Randy Gonzales

16 & a New Year

Wow! So much has happened since I last blogged. As many of you know I am running another half marathon in a week. I will be heading down to Carlsbad California this Friday. I will be going by myself and even though it will be sad to leave my family I am excited for it. I found out some great news though. The Carlsbad Marathon picked me to be 1 of 10 people selected for Hero of the Marathon. I am blessed to have been chosen and know that there are many other people that are just as deserving. I also found out that I have been selected to be part of  Youth Leadership Lincoln. They are a group that promotes people of all ages to become leaders in their communities. My group is second semester 10th graders so everyone will be my age and it will be exciting to get to know kids from across the city. I got my drivers license in the mail a couple of days ago. I haven't driven a lot but it is still fun to be able to go places by yourself. The weather has been bad so right now driving is on a hold. Because of all the bad weather we had two snow days which gave us a much needed 5 day weekend. Before all of these snow days though we had finals and I ended the first semester with a 3.95 missing a 4.0 by one percent on one grade. The snow days brought some much needed fun also. My friend Chelsea and I went and played in the snow the first snow day and the second day my friend Hannah and I hung out inside relaxing all day. I will keep you all posted on how next weekend goes!

A low thought....

As I was sitting in study hall a week or so ago I wrote this down in my phone as I thought of what happened the night before.

As I went to bed last night I had a high bloodsugar...probably because I was off my pump for 3 hours while working out and not dosing for my dinner until after I ate which is unusual for me. I end up regretting this lack of good control when I wake up at 3:30 in the middle of the night with a bg of 34....yes that's not a typo it was 34... this number is not as scary for me normally if I was awake but when I am sleeping and wake up randomly in the middle of the night and am week I have a bit of a panic attack.... for those of you that know me I NEVER I mean NEVER wake up in the middle of the night unless it is from a nightmare... so the fact that I woke up was amazing and I thank God for that because I think it could have gone a lot lower. So I woke up and had to literally force myself to reach for my tester because I felt like I didn't even have enough energy  to move. I scramble around with my tester to finally poke myself and hear the beep to read the number 34 this is about the time when I start yelling for my parents. One of them gets up and goes to the kitchen and brings me a glass of orange juice. I drink it in like .02 seconds... that's the weird thing about me when I get low I feel like I could eat a horse. This feeling usually ends up to me over treating my low more times than not. I then beg for a peanut butter sandwich so back to the kitchen they go and return with a sandwich they then say they will check me in a little bit you may think ohhhh she's better but in my mind I'm terrified and lay in my bed for the next 15 minutes scares to go back to sleep. I then think what will happen when I am alone.... What will happen when my parents aren't there to bring me juice. What will I do? As I start to think about this it scares me!
Also the other day when I was at my friend Hannah's house before we went to volleyball practice practically half asleep on the couch. We both new that I needed to go get my tester and test since it had been awhile and Hannah who is the most loving friend a person could have goes up and gets my tester and tests me. No help! She has the routine down.... It warms my heart and almost makes me cry that I have friends that really care about me and love me. I love her so much....
Goodbye for now!

The Normal Stuff....

The last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. I did however get my wisdom teeth pulled the day before thanksgiving. I was very thankful that God only gave me two of them! haha I recovered pretty fast but it did keep me from running for a couple of days so I had to make those up. Living in Nebraska means having very cold nights this time of year, and not only does it get cold but it gets darker faster so I have started running inside more. I am amazed every time I work out on how much my diabetes LOVES the exercise. Every time after I run my BGs are between 80-100 no exceptions....I don't know about you but I am amazed by that. Although sometimes my bgs do like to drop during my run and I can end up in the 70 to 60's which while you are running is a hard thing to get up. It seems like I am constantly eating, testing, eating testing and so on but what can you do its bound to happen. As far as school goes it is kind of at the point where you don't really want to go back after thanksgiving break and are counting the days till Christmas break. I cant believe it but in 27 days I guess it is I will be 16. I don't really know to whether I am happy or sad. Every year seems to go by so fast and in a way I don't want to get older haha but I cant really stop it so life moves on. This Sunday me and my good friend are running a 5k for fun it will be a little chilly but fun at the same time. Also I had my 7th walk awards night... I got the Golden Sneaker Award (personally raising  over $1,000) and the Bronze Team Award (My team together raising over $1,000) it was my 7th year in a row getting both awards and I was excited to receive them again!

7 years worth of awards