As I was sitting in study hall a week or so ago I wrote this down in my phone as I thought of what happened the night before.
As I went to bed last night I had a high bloodsugar...probably because I was off my pump for 3 hours while working out and not dosing for my dinner until after I ate which is unusual for me. I end up regretting this lack of good control when I wake up at 3:30 in the middle of the night with a bg of 34....yes that's not a typo it was 34... this number is not as scary for me normally if I was awake but when I am sleeping and wake up randomly in the middle of the night and am week I have a bit of a panic attack.... for those of you that know me I NEVER I mean NEVER wake up in the middle of the night unless it is from a nightmare... so the fact that I woke up was amazing and I thank God for that because I think it could have gone a lot lower. So I woke up and had to literally force myself to reach for my tester because I felt like I didn't even have enough energy to move. I scramble around with my tester to finally poke myself and hear the beep to read the number 34 this is about the time when I start yelling for my parents. One of them gets up and goes to the kitchen and brings me a glass of orange juice. I drink it in like .02 seconds... that's the weird thing about me when I get low I feel like I could eat a horse. This feeling usually ends up to me over treating my low more times than not. I then beg for a peanut butter sandwich so back to the kitchen they go and return with a sandwich they then say they will check me in a little bit you may think ohhhh she's better but in my mind I'm terrified and lay in my bed for the next 15 minutes scares to go back to sleep. I then think what will happen when I am alone.... What will happen when my parents aren't there to bring me juice. What will I do? As I start to think about this it scares me!
Also the other day when I was at my friend Hannah's house before we went to volleyball practice practically half asleep on the couch. We both new that I needed to go get my tester and test since it had been awhile and Hannah who is the most loving friend a person could have goes up and gets my tester and tests me. No help! She has the routine down.... It warms my heart and almost makes me cry that I have friends that really care about me and love me. I love her so much....
Goodbye for now!
So California...It was so much fun. The whole trip started with me going to school in the morning and leaving after two class periods to head to Omaha. The flight was a little late because of the weather so I ended up getting to San Diego around 5:30 instead of 5. Ashley picked me up at the airport and we went right to the Heros of the Marathon dinner. We met some amazing people there including Zyler who is also a hero of the marathon as well. He is an awesome kid. The next day we got up and went to the beach where everyone met for breakfast, talking, and surfing. Yeah I pretty much failed at the surfing bit but it was fun. My FAVORITE part of the day was seeing Katie. I hadn't seen her since the mountain climb which was 6 months ago. I literally flipped out when I saw her on the beach. She is awesome and the next day she ran a marathon which is amazing. After the beach we went to the expo to check in for the marathon. That's where I saw Erin she is so cool and we love getting together. After the Expo we went and got cleaned up and went to a dinner with insulindependence...that is where I got to see Eden for the first time also since the trip. We got to take a picture together of everyone from the climb that was there at the race we were only missing a few people. The next morning we got up bright and early and headed of to the half marathon. I learned a lot from this race. One...God is always teaching me lessons. This time it was that he is in control and that not everything in your life is going to turn out the way you plan. For example this time I trained more for this run than my first and was expecting to PR. That didn't happen. I was 17 minutes slower. Somewhere around mile 4 1/2 after running at a good pace with Eden I stopped for water and felt my knee starting to cramp. At that moment I knew this race wasn't going to go the way I had planned but instead the way God had planned. The cramping got worse and spread down my leg. It was probably from a high blood sugar and not enough salt. But me and Eden kept going and actually at a point when we were walking we saw three dolphins. I then realized that if I had been so self consumed with trying to PR that I would have missed that moment and many others like it. It was awesome being able to run/ walk :) with Eden she is awesome and we had fun talking about life. We finished the race and I got to watch Ashley finish the half and Katie the full ....I could never imagine doing a full even though its a future goal of mine I have so much respect for Katie for doing it. She truly doesn't let her diabetes stop her. After the race we went to a bbq where I had to say bye to too many people. I would not see either Ashley or Erin again on this trip. I did however get to go drive around and look at some colleges with Michelle. This was probably a highlight of this trip as I laughed so much in just those few hours...she is also another important person in my life. She then dropped me of back at the bbq and I also had to say good bye too her too :( That night though was fun as I got to spend the night with Katie. I cherished that time with her and was soooooo sad when I had to leave her and the rest of the insulindependence crew the next morning. The truth about me is that I don't really cry ever but it seems like every time I'm with this group of people at some point I cry. I safely got home and navigated my way through the airports by myself. On the flight from denver to lincoln I sat looking out the window the whole flight. I thought about my life and I the amazing experiences I have been able to do. I thought about what I wanted to do and become when I got older and I thought about how hard it was going to be to go back to my normal life and wait until I could see those people that play such a big role in my life again. I feel that the age that I'm at and the circumstances under which I live my life have people watching me and the decisions I make everyday. But I challenge everyone including me to look at there lives and live it to the fullest and push yourselves to do things that at the moment seem so far fetched and to work at reaching them. Whether it is as simple as getting a certain grade in a class or reaching a fitness goal. Live your life like the world is watching you....Live with Fulfillment, Serve with Passion so in this Lifetime you will have the ability to Die with NO Regrets-Randy Gonzales
