Diaversary and a new diagnosis...it is my time of the year!

For most people April is a happy month filled with the excitement of spring and a fresh start for years mine has been something quite contrary. It all began on April 29th 2004 ( yes I am writing about my diaversary early) when I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. In April of 2006 I had my tonsils taken out. In April 2007 was when I trashed out my knee and had my femoral-patellar tendon reconstruction. Skip a few years..... Now yet another! Which I will talk about later. It was funny when my mom and I went through and noticed this trend how crazy!

#1. 7 years WOW! To me it seems like yesterday and yet at the same tine 100 years ago. I observe, learn from, and question everything that happens in my life. Weird I know! It's something that I don't share with people normally. I just make mental notes of things and kind of go "oh that's interesting", but for this special occasion I thought I would share what I have observed, learned, and questioned about this disease that has affected my life so drastically. What have I learned and observed? Well to start off with I learned everything about what type one diabetes is (duhhh). I have learned that a common challenge or adversity can bring people of all locations (shout out to all my diabetics in California, Maryland, Michigan, Kansas, Minnesota, Florida, Colorado, Indiana, Missouri, Iowa, Washington D.C., Arizona, Hawaii and Washington...I am so lucky to know all of you!), personalities, races, sexes, and backgrounds together to become each others support system and even friends!  My Facebook "friend" list proves this fact. I remember talking at camp about what we all liked about diabetes camp. One of my friends responded with "I would have never expected to be friends with these people around me but I feel that my diabetes has opened up my eyes to being non judgmental about others because really we are all the same. We go through the same difficulties and struggles everyday and the rest doesn't really matter. We are a family." Second observation is that everything in life will work out in the end. If it doesn't seem like that things aren't working out then it isn't a over yet. Three, you are stronger than you think.  Four, accept the help of others. Five, you can do anything with the help of God for he will never give you more than you can handle if you put your trust in him. Six, I am learning everyday new reasons and purposes on why God blessed me with diabetes. Seven, you get out of life what you put into it! Seven perfect. Now the things I question. One, does God want us to really find a cure? Two, what would my life be like without diabetes? Three, how can people not control this disease and try to ignore it? Four, What caused my diabetes? Five, What will my future with diabetes be?
Next the question I get asked the most about...Aren't you afraid of dead in bed? My answer: I am not. I now know three people who have had this as their ending. I am not afraid of this because I know that EVERYTHING in my life is a part of God's plan. My diabetes-part of his plan. My future-part of his plan. I know the day I go to be with my father in heaven will be the best day of my life. That will be the day I will be free from pain, free from stress, free from diabetes. Don't let this scare you I'm not planning on this happening. I stay up some nights until 12 or 1 o'clock in the morning treating those low blood sugars refusing to go to bed anywhere close to low. Yes I know that we don't know the exact cause of it but this is my theory.
I asked the researcher that I followed around last week a question. I knew the answer too a long time ago but I felt that I needed to be sure of it. We were on the topic of Cure. I looked her dead in the eye and said "I will never be cured of diabetes will I?". She hesitated for a moment and confidently answered me back and said "I am nearly certain you will not". I had to hold back the tears at that time trying not to let them out so that she wouldn't feel bad for giving me the truth, but now that I sit her and write this I am crying. Why? I can't really answer that. I feel that a cure was something that was always promised to me. Doing the JDRF walks year after year reviving the excitement and hope for a cure. I have realized that's never going to be something that I will experience. I have and still will raise money for JDRF though because I know that if a cure is possible it will prevent diabetes from ever giving someone a diagnosis date. I don't want my friends or children to ever go through what I have.
Way up in the top part I talked about how April is my problematic month. On April 27, 2011 I was diagnosed with chronic exertion compartment syndrome. I am nearly positive that my first signs were in Carlsbad or a little before when I was experiencing cramping when I ran. Since then the pain has gotten worse and stays with me well after I run. It got to the point where my calf swelled up and wouldn't come down so my athletic trainer sent me to orthopedic and I got my diagnosis. I ran like 2 miles 4 hours ago and my calf feels like it is being squeezed together and about to explode haha... all joking aside it has made me pretty bumbed because it is another obstacle that I have to face. One more problem to deal with. And most likely another surgery to have. Yeah the sucky part is that the only treatment is surgery. It is not urgent nor life threatening but something that if I want to keep doing halfs will most likely have to be done. So yet another scar to add to my leg already filled with three from my knee surgery, I didn't care then about the scars but this one will be along the outer part of my leg and I'm def not to thrilled about how noticeable it will be but that is if I decide to get surgery (the half this weekend will most likely determine this). So we handle it just like we have handled all the ones before... We face it, Deal with it, and move on...

Thanks Diabetes for our seven years together it has been a wild ride :) can't wait to see what the future brings!
love~ ashlee