A low thought....

As I was sitting in study hall a week or so ago I wrote this down in my phone as I thought of what happened the night before.

As I went to bed last night I had a high bloodsugar...probably because I was off my pump for 3 hours while working out and not dosing for my dinner until after I ate which is unusual for me. I end up regretting this lack of good control when I wake up at 3:30 in the middle of the night with a bg of 34....yes that's not a typo it was 34... this number is not as scary for me normally if I was awake but when I am sleeping and wake up randomly in the middle of the night and am week I have a bit of a panic attack.... for those of you that know me I NEVER I mean NEVER wake up in the middle of the night unless it is from a nightmare... so the fact that I woke up was amazing and I thank God for that because I think it could have gone a lot lower. So I woke up and had to literally force myself to reach for my tester because I felt like I didn't even have enough energy  to move. I scramble around with my tester to finally poke myself and hear the beep to read the number 34 this is about the time when I start yelling for my parents. One of them gets up and goes to the kitchen and brings me a glass of orange juice. I drink it in like .02 seconds... that's the weird thing about me when I get low I feel like I could eat a horse. This feeling usually ends up to me over treating my low more times than not. I then beg for a peanut butter sandwich so back to the kitchen they go and return with a sandwich they then say they will check me in a little bit you may think ohhhh she's better but in my mind I'm terrified and lay in my bed for the next 15 minutes scares to go back to sleep. I then think what will happen when I am alone.... What will happen when my parents aren't there to bring me juice. What will I do? As I start to think about this it scares me!
Also the other day when I was at my friend Hannah's house before we went to volleyball practice practically half asleep on the couch. We both new that I needed to go get my tester and test since it had been awhile and Hannah who is the most loving friend a person could have goes up and gets my tester and tests me. No help! She has the routine down.... It warms my heart and almost makes me cry that I have friends that really care about me and love me. I love her so much....
Goodbye for now!

The Normal Stuff....

The last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. I did however get my wisdom teeth pulled the day before thanksgiving. I was very thankful that God only gave me two of them! haha I recovered pretty fast but it did keep me from running for a couple of days so I had to make those up. Living in Nebraska means having very cold nights this time of year, and not only does it get cold but it gets darker faster so I have started running inside more. I am amazed every time I work out on how much my diabetes LOVES the exercise. Every time after I run my BGs are between 80-100 no exceptions....I don't know about you but I am amazed by that. Although sometimes my bgs do like to drop during my run and I can end up in the 70 to 60's which while you are running is a hard thing to get up. It seems like I am constantly eating, testing, eating testing and so on but what can you do its bound to happen. As far as school goes it is kind of at the point where you don't really want to go back after thanksgiving break and are counting the days till Christmas break. I cant believe it but in 27 days I guess it is I will be 16. I don't really know to whether I am happy or sad. Every year seems to go by so fast and in a way I don't want to get older haha but I cant really stop it so life moves on. This Sunday me and my good friend are running a 5k for fun it will be a little chilly but fun at the same time. Also I had my 7th walk awards night... I got the Golden Sneaker Award (personally raising  over $1,000) and the Bronze Team Award (My team together raising over $1,000) it was my 7th year in a row getting both awards and I was excited to receive them again!

7 years worth of awards

A day all for the Betis...





Here is a picture I took of one of the twins...they are so cute..

The last couple of weeks have been kind of crazy. Two weeks ago I came down with a virus that gave me extremely painful headaches and eventually broke out in a rash it finally went away after a week. Last weekend I went to a FCA ( fellowship of Christian Athletes) weekend with two of my good friends from school. We had a blast spending time with tons of other Christian athletes from across the state. Last week My mother and I took photos for one of our family friends. Photography is one of my favorite things. This weekend I went up to Iowa City which is a nice 4 and a half hour drive. Friday morning I had my endocrinologist appointment which went very well. All the research that my doctor was doing got me excited to possibly maybe go into research or even be a research assistant when I hopefully go to college there. We planned my doctors appointment around my diabetic friend Karlee's volleyball game against the University of Iowa.  A little over a year ago I was in Omaha watching the huskers play volleyball against the University of Michigan (who Karlee plays for) and saw Karlee's pump site and told my mom and she got us in touchh. Its amazing to see how God puts people in your life at the perfect time.  Karlee has been a great role model for me and is a constant reminder that you shouldn't let diabetes stop you from doing anything in life. I have had awesome blood sugars lately we are still fine tuning some things but all in all things are good. This Saturday I sign up for club volleyball... don't know how it is time for this already but I'm excited!

a week in review....



Last Sunday I went to pumpkin carving at my church with my friend Hannah. I had so much fun..... here is what my pumpkin turned out to look like...Monday was my last volleyball game of my sophomore season..it will be nice to have a little bit of a break from it... Tuesday and Wednesday were my first free days that I have had since the start of school ...Thursday Hannah and I went to watch the varsity team  play volleyball in Beatrice...Friday I went costume shopping with two of my friends... that was a good time..but Saturday was where the real fun began....my friend Cassie had Halloween party...It was a lot of fun people dressed up as woopie cushions, Harry Potter, Hippies (me), cowgirls/cowboys, cooks, gangsters, and even a Nun...that night though when I got home was not so fun....Somehow not quiet to sure how, my Blood Sugars got out of control. I went from my meter reading HI to 29 in 3 hours. Thankfully my mom can in and checked me or my night could have been a lot worse. Its times like those where I wonder how I'm going to make it through college. How will I be able to wake up and check myself... Its a scary reality when you have has friends die in their sleep from lows...Today I was still still pretty sluggish from it.. woke up with a really bad headache, its hard on the body to go through that, normal bodies would never experience that and I wonder how much wear and tear it puts on my body...Even though I was tired today I met with my running coach and went on my first run since my half marathon, got to get ready for California... Now for the good new, I applied for a leadership program named HOBY and found out that me along with 2 other girls in my class get to go which is pretty exciting considering they normally only take one person from a school. I cant wait to go!

            







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Only fitting to have a pump on it..

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Here is Hannah and her pumpkin....

Moments like these....

This summer I climbed a 14,000 ft mountain with Insulindependence, there were 5 adults along with 5 teens all with type one. This trip has literally changed my life.I met amazing people and each one taught me a different lesson. From this trip I learned how to be independent with my diabetes. Also, I learned how much in my life I take for granted, I am always looking for the day to go faster or hoping that it is a certain day so I can go do this or that. On the trip I saw how I need to just stop in life and enjoy that moment because, even though I am only 15, I feel like life has passed by me and I didn't even have time to take it in. I in these 15 years have got to do a lot (thanks mom and dad...you defiantly don't get enough credit) nothing has been out of my reach...whether it was going to Maryland for a diabetes camp or running a half -marathon in Denver I have been given the opportunity to do it. ANYWAYS.... I thought I should talk about this because as I sit at my computer looking through photos of the trip my heart acks.....I miss those memories soooooo much....I don't think words can even describe how much I miss those people. They taught me how to enjoy life and not worry about the small things. I learned that I can do a lot more in my life than I though...In the one week we were together we bonded so much that it seems like I have known them forever. I cant wait for the next time I get to see them.

Here are two videos from the climb...one that I made http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4NSMNeasQ4 and one that Insulindependence made http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEoCWTI90Ek&feature=related

It all started when....



When I was in the 3rd Grade my mom and dad noticed that I had been drinking a lot, loosing weight and had been waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom which i had never done before...NEVER. So having a nurse that was a mom, she knew what was wrong right away. Every once and awhile starting in 1st grade I would go low and get shaking but nothing else this is when I started showing hypoglycemia but we would just treat it with crackers and move on with the day. But in 3rd grade when we actually saw that I was getting sick my parents knew that I had Type 1 Diabetes (Oh and so did my teacher and student teacher ... they both had diabetes at that time too, SO WEIRD). Yeah but there was a catch I was deathly afraid to check my blood sugar. I look back on this and laugh, I find it probably my last normal thing before diabetes, to be afraid of a needle haha.... wow how that feeling would change. So my solution was to have my parents to test me in the middle of the night. That night before I was diagnosed I had dance pictures and this is what I looked like, besides for the bad hair haha.. My arms were super thin and I had NO muscle in my body along with being super pale! A couple hours after this picture was taking I went to bed not knowing how different my life would be. My parents in the weeee hours of the morning turned a light on tested my blood sugar... all I remember was the bright light and hearing the number 544. Yep that is the # that labeled me as a diabetic. Those 3 numbers would forever change my life. The next morning we went to the hospital and did blood work and got admited to the pediatric floor where I spent three days learning about this disease called diabetes. 



This was a picture taken a year before I was diagnosed and even here I look like I have more weight.



What is Type 1 Diabetes?

Type 1 Diabetes....Most doctors would tell you that in type 1 diabetes, the body does not produce insulin. Insulin is a hormone that is needed to convert sugar, starches and other food into energy needed for daily life blah blah blah....But what is type 1 diabetes through the eyes of the beholder? What is Type 1 to me?....

To ME it is a disease that leads to late nights because of treating a low blood sugar! To me it means that I have to go to the locker room and test while my teammates are out at practice. To me it means feeling that LOW that nobody else can feel and that you cant describe. To me in means a responsibility that most kids my age don't have to obtain. To me it means getting to meet some of the most amazing people in the world and do some of the most insane thing while others get to lead their "normal" lives. To me it means that I have the opportunity to be a roll model to others! and to me it means a LOT of trials and even more on a good day triumphs. This is diabetes in my eyes it is probably one of my best friends and one of my worst enemies. But this is Type one to me!

What is it like to have a diabetic friend?- by Chelsea

What is it like to have a Diabetic friend?? Well i will tell you. One: its absolutely amazing! She amazes me everyday with what she does. She is such an amazing person. She's smart, shes funny, she makes people smile, she plays sports and she's so loving. You may think its hard to have a friend that's diabetic but really its not. Yeah, she's always poking and prodding herself but if anything its amazing. Its crazy to think that inside of her, something is not working right. She never acts like something is wrong and to be honest if i didn't know her so well I really wouldn't know that she was diabetic. She doesn't complain at all. Her name is Ashlee Jo Ernst and she is the most amazing person i know. She is diabetic and was diagnosed with it at age 9 years old. I think... what if i had diabetes? How different would my life be!? Because of this life disease, her whole life has changed. She has to poke herself and make sure her blood sugar is at the right level. Her life is so complicated because of this disease. Ashlee, is always there for me and makes me smile when I am down. I've known her for 4 years, and the first time I met her I didn't like her. But then 7th grade came along and i really got to know the girl. Sometimes you have to get to know somebody to know who they really are. Well when i got to know Ashlee, my WORLD changed! I started to think of things differently, i started to be more caring and open to people. Another thing that changed was my faith. One thing that crossed my mind was, "Why did god give her diabetes?" Well everything happens for a reason in this life. Ashlee has diabetes for a reason and what is that reason? I don't know completely, but I do know a few reasons. To make a difference in peoples lives, to show everyone what she can do, and to spread Gods love while doing that. God is working through Ashlee in so many amazing ways! Ashlee has changed my perspective of life. Life doesn't last forever. We really aren't on Earth for that long, and Ashlee has to suffer by having diabetes. But what amazes me is that she deals with it, she's not afraid to be herself and has such an amazing personality that can light up the whole room. So the original question was: What is it like to have a Diabetic friend? Well number two, its crazy! She is crazy and wild and fun! She is always herself, she's never afraid to stand out which is an amazing characteristic to have! Would my life be that different without her? Well i say yes, cause without her, i wouldn't have that great smiley face to look at everyday and i wouldn't have a girl who always has my back. She may just be an ordinary girl living in an ordinary world but she's different in so many ways. You know don't know when life is truly over. That's why i never want to lose her as a friend. Ashlee and I love the Nicholas sparks movie. And one of our favorites is The Last Song. I think this movie kind of relates to us. In the movie this girl doesn't give her Dad a chance and just ignores him. When i first met Ashlee, i judged her and didn't give her a chance at first. But then finally I did, and I really got to know the real her. Just like in the movie. Then the girls father got really sick in the movie, just like Ashlee has diabetes, its kind of like being sick. Thinking about me and Ashlee's friendship makes me want to cry. Right now there has been no cure for diabetes but I know one day there will be. Number three: SHE REALLLLLLY AMAZES ME!!! She has overcome so many challenges in life that i wish i could overcome too. She just climbed a mountain this summer, and just this past weekend she ran a half marathon. Not just anyone can run a half marathon! That's a pretty big deal and quite amazing. I'm so proud of her and she probably doesn't realize how proud i seriously am!
I have disappointed Ashlee so many times and I know that. There's times when i wish i never did disappoint her but I did. But I've changed. This summer i got to help a girl that has a disability and it changed my life. Well just that girl, Ashlee has changed my life! Sometimes when people are in love, they wish it would never end and they get this crazy feeling when they're around each other. Well when I'm with my best friend Ashlee, i feel different. Ashlee is a one of a kind friend and no one can ever replace her. Its amazing to have a diabetic friend truthfully! Like i said, she amazes me and I don't know what I would do without her. I never want to disappoint her ever again and I want to show her how much she truly means to me as a friend. Sometimes I think I take life for granted, but to me Ashlee doesn't. She takes life by the horns and really pushes through life even though things can be hard sometimes.
Jeremiah 29:11
       For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.God has amazing plans for Ashlee, I know he does! This is a jist of what its like to have a diabetic friend. I love her so much! <3<3<3

What if?

I had never really questioned why I had diabetes. I guess I figured that questioning it wouldn't make it go away or make it any better. But for some reason lately I have been wondering what my life would be like if I didn't have diabetes. Would I go to the school that I go to now? Would I have climbed a 14,000 ft mountain? Would I have ran a half marathon? Would I have meet all of my amazing diabetic friends? Would I have the faith I do? Would I be as responsible? Would I have good grades? Or would I understand how precious and delicate life is and how fast it can be taken away? The one thing that most people don't know about me is how much an observer I am. Anything I do I am always thinking of what its effects will be on my life. That's probably why I have been so curious lately on what my life would be like if I didn't have diabetes. But truly I don't think I want to know. To think of all the things that diabetes has allowed me to do and to think of all the people I have meet I definitely am sure that nothing in my life would be the same. I guess in some ways I owe a lot to Diabetes. Wow how crazy does that sound?